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Wednesday, January 27, 2010

C is for Cooties

Cooties are strangely missing from my classroom. When did cooties go away?! I haven't heard that word in so long. For those of you who who need a reminder, cooties are what boys have. They do. It's been scientifically proven (although I won't state my source).

With all the talk of Valentine's day and who is giving who what valentine in my class and who's going to the dance and who will dance with whom and...(blah, blah, blah!), I am surprised we get any work done. At one point I said "Everyone gives everyone a valentine or we don't do it at all!" Today this is what I heard:

Ms. Peepers: (four kids down the row) Pssst! Do you like New Kid? I'll tell him if you want me to.

Sweet Heart: (giggles) I'll tell you later.

Apparently later was at recess on the slide...

Sweet Heart: Not really. But he is kinda cute. (giggles)

Ms. Peepers: Yeah. Kinda. (giggles) Oh, there's this guy I know who is soooooo cute...But....he's in first grade. But he is sooooo cute.

I had to jump in at this point. So this was my response: "Girls! Go play and stop talking about boys or I'm going to cancel Valentine's Day!"

I have learned many things about having a boyfriend in the second grade:
1. Sometimes they don't even know they ARE your boyfriend.
2. You can switch boyfriends with a friend whenever you want, as long as both of you agree.
3. If they do know, they are required to sit by you at lunch and walk by you in line.
4. You get to tell them what to do or else you tattle on them to the teacher.

Oh, and every once in a while, there is a boy that is brave enough to talk about and recognize his 'girlfriend', but of course they all deal with it the typical way:
1. No matter what, deny you have a girlfriend when anyone asks, especially another girl.
2. Willingly switch girlfriends for their cuter friend.
3. Sit by them at lunch and walk by them in line, but make sure to pull their hair/poke them/step on their shoes/(insert any other mean thing).
4. Do what the girl says so they don't tell on you to the teacher.

I admit, I did have a 'boyfriend' from the second grade until the day I moved away in the fifth grade, but I'm pretty sure I thought he had cooties the entire time and I'm almost 99% sure I did not flaunt our relationship until the fourth grade when he was fought over by me and my BFF. And I know that until the fourth grade I thought boy friend just meant a friend what was a boy. What is with all this starting so young now?!

I may start planting notes around the room in child-like handwriting with messages like: "Boys have cooties", "Cool girls don't have boyfriends till the 3rd grade", and "Boys like girls that listen to their teacher and do all their work".

Maybe we'd get a little more work done. Am I just cold-hearted?! You can be honest.

(P.S. I always loved you more than her Ryan...)


  1. I remember Ryan. Didn't his last name start with "T" and he lived right down the road and rode your bus and his grandma knew your grandma misspelled "whenever."

    Oh, and for some people being girlfriend and boyfriend means the same thing as adults as it does to second graders. Not me, but I'm just sayin.'

    OH yeah, I just read all of this to Uncle Ritchie and he said he is 48 years old and things haven't changed since the 2nd grade... he still does what the woman says. Cooties have a different name...and they don't have protection.

  2. His name started with S and I have compared every guy in my life to him...

  3. I was so in love with Ryan, too. But, you know, being as I was six and all, I decided I stood no real chance.

    Didn't we have a sleepover with him and make creepy-crawly things in the oven once? And drink Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle soda? I can't be making all that up...

    You should look him up. I bet he's been pining for you for a bazillion years.

  4. Yeah, and we watched "Three Men and a Baby". I'm sure he is.