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Monday, March 1, 2010

I is for Invisible and Innocent

Invisible things can be fun. Invisible friends are very common for young kids to have. This requires imagination, though. And as I've already proven, my class has a little bit of a problem with using their imaginations.

So, me being the person I am, I found a way to encourage a little creative, imaginative thinking. In my W is for Wildlife post I discussed the various critters we've had and explained that my class has been asking for a pet. Are they happy with those critters? No! They've wanted a REAL class pet since the second week of school and we read a story about a class with a pet. We voted on what kind, wrote ways we would take care of a pet (not me!), discussed who would take it home on weekends and holidays (definitely not me!) and if anyone was allergic. Did I get a class pet for them? Nope.

That is, until a few weekends ago. 

It was on sale at 70% off. At $6.99, it is the best class pet you can get. Clean, quiet, well-behaved. 


If you look closely, you will see Rover. Our new class pet!

Rover wears his harness and leash all of the time. He sits quietly while we work.

However, sometimes he needs to "go on a walk" and only the most-behaved, quiet workers get to take Rover on a walk. Do they mind the stares from students in other classes? Nope.

Today, Mr. Jokester was out there for a while. 

Me yelling from the doorway: Mr. Jokester! Bring Rover in, we've got to go to Music!

Mr. Jokester: I can't help it that Rover pooped everywhere! He also needed to sniff every tree!

Me: Well, did you pick it up?!

Mr. Jokester: Pick what up?! 

Me: Rover's poop!

Mr. Jokester: No, but I think I stepped in it...


Mr. T.V. (amazingly) got a chance to walk Rover while waiting for the bell. He had him at about waist high. 

Me: Do you know how long Rover's legs would need to be for him to be that tall?

Mr. T.V.: He's one weird looking dog!

Freckles: Can we get a real class pet?

Mr. T.V.: Rover is real, can't you see him?

I have no words for that.


Innocent is what some of my little people proclaim they are. But, I know better. I didn't just fall off the turnip truck yesterday...

Either we have a ghost in my room or someone is being really sneaky. After Valentine's Day, we had leftover cookies and a few were mysteriously missing the next day. I shrugged it off thinking maybe it was a fellow teacher after school looking for a snack.

But, the sneakiness has escalated. In my class, students can earn a star punch on their Star Cards if they've had a good day. When they get 8 star punches, they can turn it in for a reward on Friday. They can choose a trip to the treasure box, a no-homework pass, extra computer time, or lunch with me (the coolest). I need to point out that we had a substitute on Friday, and I left instructions that I would do Star Cards on Monday.

Well, I've noticed that one little dude seems to have a full Star Card EVERY Friday.  I may not be a genius, but there are 8 stars on the card and 5 days in a week. Now, even I can do that math. I haven't said anything about this either, because there is no way he's climbing/jumping to the top of the TV cart to get my star puncher. No way, right? Right? And, I'm not the best at keeping track of the actual weeks he really does redeem one. But it's rather fishy...

I just found some, though, that I'm POSITIVE have been counterfeited. As evidence, take a look.

*The names have been blurred to protect the rights of the suspects...

This is a Star Card that has been redeemed. You can see the date (tomorrow since that's when we'll eat lunch together) and the circled L. This stands for 'Lunch'. This student chose lunch with me.

 I especially need you to notice how the punched stars are right on top of the printed star. This will be important later...

I've gotten Star Cards with these corners cut off, but that didn't fool me...

This didn't either...

I looked at this one twice. And I said to myself, "Self, you must have been lazy with this one. You didn't even punch on top of the star.

Then I got this one...

And I said to myself, "Self, you DID NOT DO THIS!" Red alert! Red alert!

I took three suspects outside with me. The two sloppily punched Star Card owners and my dude that has a full Star Card EVERY Friday. And after five years, I'm still not good at conducting an interrogation...

Me: So which of you is responsible?
Them: Not me!

            I didn't do it!


Me: Oh, so we must have a magical star puncher that felt like punching your Star Cards over the weekend?
Them: Maybe...


           It was HIM! (Pointing at the EVERY Friday dude)

 This went into "did not!" and "did too!" for a few seconds while the third guy started to cry. We all came inside and I addressed the whole class. I told them we weren't going to blame each other. I expected the culprit to be honest and come to me with the truth. I even said they could write it on a note to fess up. I said the person would be in more trouble if I found out on my own because I WILL FIND OUT! Someone suggested we call the Resource Officer and have him dust for fingerprints.

I heard them talking while waiting in the bathroom line..."Just tell her. She'll be REAL mad when she finds out. She's really smart." "Someone needs to tell her, but maybe they'll go to Juvie." "It's not fair, I love eating lunch outside, and we're never going to do that again!"
I got my three suspects alone at random times today and asked, "Why did you get down the star puncher and punch those cards?" Even reverse psychology failed.
I told them there would be no more Star Cards until I get to the bottom of this. I still wait on that confession because those sneaks are good! Real good...
I mean it. I WILL GET TO THE BOTTOM OF THIS! Wish me luck.


  1. oh my gosh, that is hilarious! wow, kids are so sneaky. good luck!

  2. I guess if you hear Friday dude say "snitches get stitches" you'll have a definitive answer.

  3. UPDATE: I said yesterday that someone would go home and feel really guilty if they didn't fess up. They might not even be able to sleep. Guess what! EVERY Friday dude was not here today!!!!! Is that a sign of guilt?

    We are going to start Junie B. Jones is Not a Crook tomorrow.

  4. Rover did it! He got bored while you were at recess.